Many see compatibility as how much common
interests a couple have or how similar a couple is. Let me give you an
ideal example, the "most compatible couple" have the same favourite
food, they love the same movie genre, they like the colour blue and heck, they even
have the same thinking logic!
Seems like a perfect couple don't you
think? Going out on a Saturday night wearing a blue-coloured couple T, enjoying a
romantic dinner in their favourite Italian restaurant, watching a comedy movie
after that, and then head home to cuddle until they fall asleep in each
other's embrace. Everything seems so perfect, they would not ever argue about what
movie to watch or crack their brains on what to eat on dates and could also avoid an awkward not-that-colour gift
scenario. But think again, is it possible to recreate this every weekend, over and over and
over and over again, until the end of time?
Compatibility is more than just similarities;
differences add a value to the word too. It is mandatory to share some sort of
similarities to be able to communicate well; be it a common interest, hobby,
personality or perspective of life. But at the same time, we should never
overlook the need to be different from each other to keep things fresh and interesting.
While the same ol' routine sounds safe and easy; it lacks surprises, excitement and
sparkles to keep the romance alive.
I see compatibility as how well a couple complements each other as a team, just like the fork and spoon. These
little utensils fall under the same category (kitchenware) and have a lot of
similarities (material, weight, size, etc.). They work differently in a team, functioning
on its own while covering each other's weaknesses at the same time. Same goes
to a couple; everyone has their own strength and weaknesses, it all
boils down to how well each side is able to utilize one’s strength to cover the
other’s weakness.
Bii and I had nothing much in common
and that actually worried me a lot when I was in a relationship with him. I
always had the thought of "Is he really the right guy? He's sooooo
different!!" But as time goes by, I figured being different is not as scary
as it seems, allow me to give you some examples.
Bii is definitely the brawn in this
relationship, he is sporty, has a good physique, outgoing and working out is
like his hobby; while for me, I HATE sports mainly cuz I suck at them. I'm more
into things like singing, gaming, reading, brain teasers, etc. I'm pretty much
interested in any sort of activities that requires minimal amount of muscle
movement.
How did the differences help us in our
relationship and more importantly, how did it help us to grow as an
individual? Well for me, Bii motivated me to start exercising. I started doing sit ups, push ups and
lunges on daily basis so I'm not as weak as I used to be. Now I'm more motivated to exercise, own
a gym membership and also work out at least 3 times a week (thanks to Bii for
hooking me up on a great Groupon deal). On the other hand, I give Bii the
motivation to be productive in his studies and read him useful articles while
we cuddle (he hates reading). I also love contributing and spamming him with
ideas, inspiring him and giving him a direction on how to tackle his
assignments.
The goal of this post is to let
people realise that it’s okay to be different. You are not entitled to be with
somebody that's a clone of
you. Enjoy spending time doing
things that both of you love while at the same time; don't forget to embrace
the differences that bring conflicts, surprises, excitements or even typhoons
in your relationship. Savour all those moments, keep them in your memory, learn
from the mistakes and experience life to the fullest with your loved one.
“We
were very different, and we disagreed about a lot of things, but he was always
so interesting you know?” (John Green, The Fault in Our Stars)
Good Luck
JS
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