Letting Go

I have been struggling with the concept of moving on for about 2 months now. However, some things had happened recently and I finally have the courage to start marching forward and leave the swamp of sorrow.

Everyone deals with moving on differently. I have friends that can handle a bad relationship in days, some do it in weeks, months and some of my friends are still struggling from moving on even after years since their past relationship.

There is no need for me to tell you that dwelling in a lost relationship causes great pain; I myself suffered from insomnia, eating disorder, emotional breakdown, anxiety and also depression (the kind that needs medication). Despite those side effects of love, I consider myself very lucky. I have the supports from my friends & family during the hard times; medications numb my emotions, enabling me to perform at work and interviews; Bii on the other hand gave me all the time I needed to slowly phase out from the past, while also providing me with help and care along the way.

Enough about me, let’s talk about “Moving On” now. I used to see the phrase moving on as stop loving.

Conceal, don’t feel, don’t let them know.

The lyrics say it all. Stop letting the feelings in; conceal them, don’t let the others know; let it go, let it go. In other words, moving on simply means don’t think about that person anymore, stop loving him/her; forget about the past and work on a better future.

I did well moving on from my past relationships but not this one. I’ve tried, many, many times to put a stop on it just to end my misery but all my efforts backfired. Every time I stop contacting him, I check his social media twice as often; I’ve tried making myself busy at work to stop thinking about bii but all the thoughts that were put on hold crashes back into my brain the moment I put my work down. I can never block his contact for more than 24 hours because I will miss him like crazy, end up unblocking him then text him back in desperation. These were the reasons why I'd rather dwell in a lost relationship than forget about him and move on.

“Can you please just STOP HURTING ME!”

My BFF (Ling) texted me that when I was telling her one of my sad stories. Every word from that sentence hit me hard. It made me realise that I wasn’t the only victim that’s hurting from all the dwelling. My friends, my best friend, my family and Bii were also suffering from my misery. That made me realise that I can’t let this shit go any longer, but how? I was nowhere ready to give up what I have; the memories, the good times, the kisses, the morning and night greetings, etc…

Moving On =/= Stop Loving

Love is not exclusive; everyone is capable of loving more than one person. I am not asking you to be a mega-flirt or cheat on your spouse, it’s just that I realised that love doesn’t disappear once it really happens; it just changes its form over time to suit the situation.

I have changed my definition of moving on from “stop loving” to “giving myself a second chance” and things got a lot easier since then. Moving on doesn’t mean that I need to give up what I had with Bii, I can still keep the memories, reminisce and still love him, but not in the way like how we practiced it before. I just need to tone down my love for him and give him the care and love like how I treat my other friends and Ex-es. Loving a new guy that comes into my life doesn’t mean I have to stop loving Bii either. Yes, you CAN and you DO love multiple people in your life (Parents, friends, Ex-es). If you were to ask me “Why would anyone wants to be your boyfriend since you love everybody?” The answer is simply because my special guy will have my lifelong loyalty, commitment and tons of love that nobody else is going to get.

Fear

The more we love, the more we fear. Fear is the one thing that we need to overcome in order to move on.

The fear of losing the loved one, the fear of rejection, the fear of letting people down, the fear of not finding love anymore, the fear of being alone… These fears limit our sight and our ability to see into the future. There was a period in my life when I was constantly in fear of losing Bii that I don’t even want to think or plan for tomorrow.  I lived everyday as it is, enjoying the moment while it lasts and refused to think about the future.

The scariest part of fear is that it takes faith, hope, dreams and expectations away from our life. While living the moment sounds like a legit motto for life, it is also an excuse for people to be lazy, avoid necessary planning while destroying hopes, dreams, ambitions and also the future.

Good Bye

Do not be afraid to say Good Bye. Good Bye doesn’t only mean the end; it is also a step that everyone has to go through before the next Hello comes by. End your current misery fashionably so you can welcome the next “Hello” into your life.

Will I find a better guy in the future? Will my next hello be The One? Will Bii live happily without me?

I really don’t know, but I do know that if I don’t say good bye to Bii now, I am going to miss out on a lot of “Hello”s in my life and so I’ve finally decided to let go, have faith and hope for a better future for me and him both.

Hey, Bii might even come and say “Hellooooo” in the future, who knows?

Good Bye Bii, Hello Me

Good Luck

Js

The One

(Mark & Ethan, one of our favorite YouTube Couple)

A friend of mine, Hui Min told me this after reading my first post on timing

“Ok I get the timing part, but how do you know Bii is the one?”

I am so glad that she asked me that question since a lot of my friends kept telling me “Stop it!” “Move on man!” “That guy is a jerk!” I shall let you all know why is it so hard for me to let go in this post.

Before I dive into the topic, I need you to be clear that EVERYONE in this world is choosy. Yes, that means YOU too. A lot of my friends refuse to acknowledge that they are choosy when it comes to finding their ideal partners.

“No I’m not choosy, he just needs to be presentable!”

“Nahhhh, I’m out of her league..”

“What??! How am I choosy, is it so wrong that I want a guy that share the same thinking?!”

 “Really??! She wears so much make up though..”

“Oh c’mon… He smokes..”

As bitchy as those sounds, I’m sure that you’ve heard something similar from your group of friends. My point is, everybody has their own check list or preferences (sounds better?) and you should acknowledge that before reading the rest of this post.

I’m going to start the post by going through some major categories that goes into everybody’s checklist.

Looks

When we talk about looks, we are not only talking about The Face. There’s more to it, the height, the weight, the body shape, fashion, (34, 24, 36), hair, complexion, skin, skin tone. Some people even go deeper, the nose, ideal lips, eyebrows or even the size of areola.

You might think that everybody wants the best for themselves; but in reality, not really. Most people want their partner to be attractive, but only to a certain extent. They are afraid that if their partner is too good looking that in the end they get cheated on or people bad mouthing them behind their backs; ego, mainly.

Overall the looks checkbox is not that hard to be ticked, as the Chinese saying “情人眼里出西施”, “if you love somebody enough, they will look attractive/appealing to you eventually”. This checkbox is pretty much a pre-screening procedure before you chow down your food.

Personality

Now that the looks are checked, you then start looking into his/her personality. Is she a bimbo? Does she talk too much? Is he outgoing? Does he walk like a sissy?

Everyone has an idea of their ideal type of man/woman. Some may like it rough while others like it slow. Some people love to listen while others are able to talk for 2 days straight without stopping. Some prefer to text for hours while some prefer to cuddle the whole night without saying a word. Everybody is different in their unique way but I’m sure everyone looks for some sort of specific quality that they like in their potential partner.

Not too hard of a checkbox to pass too (provided you are not in love with some kind of douche bag or bitchy girl). When you are in love with someone, you only see their good side anyways ;)

Similarities

Looks checked, and he/she is a decent person. What’s next? You will now look for some similarities or common ground so things won’t get awkward when you guys hang out. This is not hard at all. TV shows, Internet, social networks, movie genres, food, YouTubers, hobby, interest, occupation, goals in life, the list goes on forever.

There’s bound to be something that both of you share a common interest in (Interest in each other counts). Don’t fret if there aren’t a lot of similarities between you two. As I mentioned in my previous post, differences plays a part in compatibility too. That aside, interests and hobbies can always be developed later when you guys are in a relationship via some effort.

Religion/Life Perspective

Religion speaks a lot about an individual, and no, I’m not talking about the general Buddhist, Christian, Hindu, Atheist, Scientology, etc. Its more about how you interpret the religion you believe in instead of just telling people, “I’m a Buddhist”. What does that mean anyways? Do you shave your head? Or do you live in the temple? Are you are a vegetarian? Do you believe in Buddha or just Karma? Or it’s just because “My mom told me to put Buddhist down in forms”? To me, religion is just a way you think about life since it speaks about what you believe in, how you interpret things and whether you believe in fate & faith.

I have friends that struggle with the religion barrier. They find it difficult to date someone that have different beliefs. I think that the religion barrier will exist only if the person INSISTS that what they believe in is the only way the world is going to work. For me, having a different religion with my partner is not really an issue; it’s simply just hmm, liking different soups. I can have my favourite soup and if you don’t like it, well, more for me. Order your own share of soup and make sure you finish it.

Of course there are some principles of life that you will not be able to overlook easily and that is why this check box is going to be quite a challenge. Is dating him/her going to be in line with your principle of life? Do you need to compromise or make changes to your own principle in order to date him/her? Those are the questions that only you yourself can answer.

Chemistry (Dealing with Conflicts)

Similar to how chemicals react, we will be looking at how two individuals react under different conditions in this category. If anybody tells you that relationships are all fun, bubble gum and rainbows, I can tell you that they are constantly high on something. Conflicts are bound to happen and there will be bad days. Heck, even a simple bowl of corn soup can sometimes spark arguments, refer to the dialogue below

A: “Why didn’t you put carrot in the soup?”

B: “Cuz it’s freaking corn soup?!”

A: “It taste better with carrots in it!”

B: “Well, that’s your opinion Mr., drink it or leave it!”

A: “Okayyyyyyy, I’m gonna leave it then”

*BOOM*

Okay I exaggerated a little bit, but you do see my point right?

"A" could’ve been nicer and just drink the soup while "B" could’ve been thoughtful and say that he will add carrots into the soup the next time; or B could’ve just cooked peanut & lotus root soup instead, wait, that soup tastes better with carrots in it too...

Anyways, some people will react with each other nicely like alcohol and acid, forming ester (Perfume) with some help from a catalyst and heat; Some may react like potassium and water, violent, rapid but beautiful; while some of them are like Neon and Xenon; they don’t even react at all.

Potassium reacting with Water

(Since you are reading my blog, I want you to learn something)

No matter how you guys are handling your conflicts now, (talk it out, sweep it under the rug, laugh at it, make up sex, etc) it is going to be the same for the rest of your life. I do agree that people change, but the degree of change for personal behavior is really minimal. This will be the toughest box for you to check off if you haven’t been handling conflicts well with your partner.

Others

Meh, the little things that could be improved in the future like smoking, alcohol consumption, wet toilets, too much time spent in the toilet, doesn’t put toilet seat down, doesn’t speak mandarin or lousy sex, etc. You either grow to accept it eventually or things just happen to improve over time. Don’t dwell on these small stuffs; they don’t deserve a box of its own.

Featuring Aaron & Ethan's TFIOS (G) 

I too have a check list and to be honest, Bii didn’t really check a lot of it. He’s shorter than me, not all that handsome, doesn’t speak mandarin, doesn’t shave properly (Stubbles are prickly), lazy, avoid conflicts, etc etc etc. The list could be a page long but why am I still so sure that he’s the one?

He saw my imperfection as perfection.  #Goosebumps

I am needy, annoying and I have severe insecurity issues due to my past experience. I texted Bii almost every two hours, asking him what he was doing, making sure his day was okay and constantly in fear that I'm in contest with some other guy. I get all bat shit crazy when some gay guy pops up in his life (to be fair he had a thing with a very, very cute guy before me). It is unfair how I cast the shadow from my past experience on Bii but my brain is not functioning the way I want it to.

How did Bii handle it though? He limits his interaction with gay people, he replies my messages almost instantly, he screenshots messages from other gay guys (I didn't ask him to do that) just to show me and let me know that “okay this guy just texted me, don’t worry, nothing is going to happen". He allows me to scroll through his phone as it is and told me it's okay since there’s nothing to hide. He told me it’s okay to be clingy and I’m not really disturbing him cuz he likes it. For the record, he even blocked out some guys that texted him when we were dating just so we could avoid some unnecessary drama.

I take honesty very seriously in a relationship and Bii has been nothing else but truthful to me. That’s the two toughest boxes on my check list. Checked. I really think that I'm not going to meet any other guy that could do the same for me; religiously speaking, God is not that kind; statistically speaking, the probability is so low that I wouldn't even want to bet on it.

You know you found the right one when you stop looking for "more" (Laurel House)

I hope I answered your question Hui Min.

Good Luck

JS

Honesty

Stop the bullshit, I don't want to hear them anymore

A very good friend of mine got into a very awkward situation with me recently. As you probably would have guessed it from the title, he lied to me and I found out about it. When I found out that he was lying, I confronted him right away, but in a very calm manner. I gave him the chance to come clean, but he chose to shove more lies in my face and play a fool in front of me. So, after calming myself down, I confronted him about lying to me and things got awkward after that.

They say honesty is the best policy. Is it? Yes it is. I think honesty is one of the qualities I find most attractive in a person. (Nice ass aside) Being able to tell the truth takes guts and courage, not a lot of people are capable of that.

If you know me well enough, you should already know that I'm a person that shoots directly. I don't (okay, very rarely) tell lies. I enjoy telling people the truth, giving people my honest opinions, especially the harsh ones. Let me give you some examples so you know how honest I am.

“OMG Bii, your face! What happened?! Been stressing out lately?”

“XiangYin, I see you've been eating happily”

“Kane, you’re gay, accept it and stop making other people’s life miserable!”

“Jian, you are a mega CB when you’re gaming”

“Ayyy, Hui Min, I think your face got rounder.”

“Chai Leen, there’s a piece of lettuce stuck in your teeth, yeah there”

Yes, truth hurts. Everybody knows that, but as a good friend, I need to tell them the truth. Was it embarrassing when they found out? Yes, was it going to be awkward? Yeah, for a bit; But in the end, most of them appreciate my honesty. Xiang Yin got happier and showed me pictures after she slimmed down; Kane came out of the closet feeling awesome and less constrained; Chai Leen didn't have to walk around the city showing every person her lunch every time she smiles. Jian and Hui Min chose to be ignorant to my comments and live their happy life, no grudges tho ;) Needless to say, everybody appreciates honesty, whether the truth hurts or not.

Of course I am not telling you to walk around and gun down everybody with the “truth”. The examples above are only appropriate after you have established a certain bond with that particular person. I am honest, but I don’t walk around the city and go “Oh, you so fat” or “Damn, that baby is ugly”. Being honest and keeping quiet are two different things.

Back to the story, when I confronted this friend of mine, let’s just call him L for now, he didn't show any sign of being apologetic. In fact, he got all defensive instead. “I did this because I didn't want to hurt you” he said. I understand, from his point of view it was just to protect me but did he really? I was so hurt when I found out about the truth that it doesn't even matter to me anymore. I've lost trust in this good friend of mine. Things that he said to me started to echo in my brain; I couldn't tell whether anything he said to me before were real any more.

Remember this people; hiding the truth from your loved ones is only preventing the pain temporarily, it doesn't solve the root of the issue. “L” HATES confrontation and I do know that. I got really close to him although he’s relatively new in my life because he’s an awesome guy. However, he has this habit of sweeping issues under the rug, run away, hide in his comfort zone, chuck things out of his brain and also lying (buat bodoh) when things start to get ugly.

You won’t be free from confrontations in life so learn to deal with it. You might think that it’s comfortable and easy for you to hide or suppress it now, but you are not aware of how much toxicity you have been suppressing in your system, how things explode after they are accumulated and also how hurt your loved ones will be when they find out that you have been lying to them your whole life.

When you think about lying just to protect someone’s feelings, please also think about how hurt they will be when they find out about the truth. And yes, they WILL find out eventually, truth can’t be concealed. Did you not learn anything from “Frozen”? Did you realise how hurt Anna was when Elsa shut her out from her life and lied to her about her magical powers? How lonely she was after the truth was revealed and how things got better when she finally accepts the truth and shared her gift with everyone?

When you get cut, rinse it, clean it and treat it with medication. It stings, but it also heals and regenerates faster. Don’t just cover it up with a tissue and say it is okay. The blood does clot after a while and it still heals after a great period of time but you are risking bacterial infection and a high chance to leave an ugly scar forever. You are not a kid anymore, handle things like how an adult should.

Of course I’m not going to stop here after taking lies out from your life; there are things that can fill in the void where the “lies” used to be.

1) Practice Honesty

If telling the truth makes a person better in the future, why not? Grow a pair of balls, man up, and be the jerk. They will come back and thank you for your honesty later.

2) Use milder words, soften the blow or give suggestions to deal with harsh truth

I'm not asking you to be honest and shoot things like “OMG DID YOU JUST GAIN 10 POUNDS?” You could've easily helped the person by offering to share a meal or exercising together. Use milder words to soften the blow too, like “hmm, I think your jawline is less defined nowadays, stress?”

Any of those will be better than “You look fine betch, let’s go Ice Kacang”

3) If you can’t say something true, don’t say anything at all

Staying quiet to prevent yourself from saying something offensive or refuse to tell to protect your own privacy is okay. Your friends will understand and respect your privacy. Should they poke too hard, tell them off, lying is not the best option.

I'm not upset that you lied to me; I'm deeply hurt that I can never trust you any more

Good Luck in Life, L

Js

P/S I've used a lot of fat analogy in this post and I hope it doesn't offend any of the readers out there. I only say those stuff to my friends that are actually unhappy being fat. If you are happy, there's nothing wrong with being fat :)

Compatibility

I talked about timing in my previous post and so I would like to bring your attention to the word Compatibility this time. What is compatibility? If we use building a house as an analogy to define a relationship, timing can be thought as the time we build the house, while compatibility will be the foundation, bricks and cement required to build the house. 

Many see compatibility as how much common interests a couple have or how similar a couple is. Let me give you an ideal example, the "most compatible couple" have the same favourite food, they love the same movie genre, they like the colour blue and heck, they even have the same thinking logic! 

Seems like a perfect couple don't you think? Going out on a Saturday night wearing a blue-coloured couple T, enjoying a romantic dinner in their favourite Italian restaurant, watching a comedy movie after that, and then head home to cuddle until they fall asleep in each other's embrace. Everything seems so perfect, they would not ever argue about what movie to watch or crack their brains on what to eat on dates and could also avoid an awkward not-that-colour gift scenario. But think again, is it possible to recreate this every weekend, over and over and over and over again, until the end of time?

Compatibility is more than just similarities; differences add a value to the word too. It is mandatory to share some sort of similarities to be able to communicate well; be it a common interest, hobby, personality or perspective of life. But at the same time, we should never overlook the need to be different from each other to keep things fresh and interesting. While the same ol' routine sounds safe and easy; it lacks surprises, excitement and sparkles to keep the romance alive. 

I see compatibility as how well a couple complements each other as a team, just like the fork and spoon. These little utensils fall under the same category (kitchenware) and have a lot of similarities (material, weight, size, etc.). They work differently in a team, functioning on its own while covering each other's weaknesses at the same time. Same goes to a couple; everyone has their own strength and weaknesses, it all boils down to how well each side is able to utilize one’s strength to cover the other’s weakness.

Bii and I had nothing much in common and that actually worried me a lot when I was in a relationship with him. I always had the thought of "Is he really the right guy? He's sooooo different!!" But as time goes by, I figured being different is not as scary as it seems, allow me to give you some examples.

Bii is definitely the brawn in this relationship, he is sporty, has a good physique, outgoing and working out is like his hobby; while for me, I HATE sports mainly cuz I suck at them. I'm more into things like singing, gaming, reading, brain teasers, etc. I'm pretty much interested in any sort of activities that requires minimal amount of muscle movement. 

How did the differences help us in our relationship and more importantly, how did it help us to grow as an individual? Well for me, Bii motivated me to start exercising. I started doing sit ups, push ups and lunges on daily basis so I'm not as weak as I used to be. Now I'm more motivated to exercise, own a gym membership and also work out at least 3 times a week (thanks to Bii for hooking me up on a great Groupon deal). On the other hand, I give Bii the motivation to be productive in his studies and read him useful articles while we cuddle (he hates reading). I also love contributing and spamming him with ideas, inspiring him and giving him a direction on how to tackle his assignments.

The goal of this post is to let people realise that it’s okay to be different. You are not entitled to be with somebody that's a clone of you. Enjoy spending time doing things that both of you love while at the same time; don't forget to embrace the differences that bring conflicts, surprises, excitements or even typhoons in your relationship. Savour all those moments, keep them in your memory, learn from the mistakes and experience life to the fullest with your loved one.

“We were very different, and we disagreed about a lot of things, but he was always so interesting you know?” (John Green, The Fault in Our Stars)

Good Luck

JS

Timing

One of the most valuable lessons that I've learnt from my relationship with Bii was how "timing" plays an important role in all relationships.

Let's make it simple for now and look at it from a "straight" point of view.

I have been in quite some relationships myself. I've dated/chased after girls when I was back in high school since the age of 15. (Don't judge me, I was just going with the flow without thinking too much of the gay thing) I've had 3 girlfriends myself; first one at the age of 15, the other two came later during my final year in high school (17). 

As "straight" as it was, all these relationships didn't work out well. Why, if you ask me; it wasn't really because I'm gay, its timing. I wasn't even aware that I was gay back then, most of the problems came from both parties since we were young and immature. The concept of Love was new and fresh to us; it was shallow but still sweet at times. 

Most people associate timing with age, while in my opinion it is not as simple as that. Sure, if the age gap of both parties aren't huge (+/- 3 years), there's a good chance that the couple fall under a good timing for a healthy relationship. Since they are of similar age, they would be doing something similar. At the age of 15, you play; at the age of 18, you experiment; at the age of 22, you take things more seriously and when you are near 30, its time to find a partner and settle down quietly. I guess you could see it already, the key principle of timing isn't age, and it’s actually the goals or mind set of that individual at that particular time.

Its quite lucky for the norms. The timing can be defined easily based on how you want your future to be. I would use hetero females as an example since that's as difficult as it can get for the straight couples. We are in the 20th century now where ladies are more capable, intelligent and independent compared to the females from the 1960s. Many prioritize their career path now instead of being a family lady. Nowadays, you often hear woman in their early twenties say "Oh hell no, who wants to get married like, now?", "Do Not Propose To Me Now, try that again in 5 years" *Cue EyeRoll*. 

While they refuse to get attached attached (Yes, 2 times), they are aware that they are on a time bomb. Those lumps are going to sag, what was up will slowly drop down and worst still, the one that "comes visit" every month might decide not to visit anymore. All these can be the base design factor for them to work out their Timing.

If you want 2 kids and want to avoid a Down syndrome baby, 35 years old will be the best bet. 2 babies, with a gap of 2 years in between means you have to get pregnant at 31 latest. If you want 2 years of honeymoon with the Hubby, you have to get married around 29. Of course, you need to get to know your boyfie enough before you get married to him, let’s put a solid 2 years to that, 27 is the age where you need to find your Mr. Right. We are now left with the nit-picking, broken heart, single times, douchebags, rebound dudes, which I shall put down another 3 years for that. TADA! Ladies, you should actually start focusing on meeting your first douche bag at the age of 24, provided that you want 2 healthy babies down the road. There, Timing, all planned out based on some simple mathematics and brief assumption.

For straight males, it’s far too simple. The moment you think you are okay with fucking the same lady for the rest of your life, propose to her. Screw economics, ladies are capable nowadays.

When you put "gay" as a factor in the game, things get pretty messed up. We gay people live 2 lives, a normal one (friends, studies, work, economics) and also a gay one (self-acceptance, coming out, gay friends, finding a right guy, commitment). 

Bii and I are completely out of sync timing wise (Even though we are both of the same age). If we were to look at the norm part of life, I'm at the phase where I put my head into my career; spending most of my time going to, from and in office. I need a partner to spend time with when I'm off work, since there aren't a lot of friends available (busy with their own life or not around) and I'm not the kind of person that loves to hang out with colleagues after working hours. Bii on the other hand just went back to college after working for a year. He's hanging around a bunch of 18~19s, dealing with slacky morning time tables while cracking his head for assignments at night. You should be able to tell that when one of us is free, the other is busy. It's really hard and exhausting for us to make time for each other due to our responsibilities. 

The "gay" factor joins in after. While I'm at the phase of "Oh, Hi! I'm Gay!” Bii is still relatively new to the gay concept and is still struggling with coming out. While I'm ready to settle down after years of texts and dates with random gay dudes, Bii is still relatively new to the market, enjoying his ego boost from time to time (He has the body that makes gay guys drool all over him) He's like a teenager in gay years, he still wants to know more people, flirt with more people, play around, test his market and flex damn muscles in other dudes' face. In short, it just means that I'm ready for a committed relationship but he's nowhere near that phase.

I can tell you from my experience that it’s super exhausting when you are struggling with timing. On my end, I have to constantly slow my pace down and drag Bii so he doesn't fall too far behind while on the other hand, Bii needs to keep running so he doesn't lose sight of me. The exhaustion tires out not only the person involved but also the relationship, breaking it apart. 

What to do? You can't force a person to match your life goals, nor can you alter yours to fit your partner's. So, what's my solution to this problem? 

Wait, Patience and Perseverance. 

Give it time, your life goals didn't sync up now but one day, he's going to be tired of mass-flirting just like you did. He might get hurt, exhausted or even trampled while he's getting through those life phases that you've went through. There will be a day where he's going to want a commitment with someone special too, it’s just not now. Give it time as the day will come where all he wants is to go to the person that gave him the most comfort, to settle down and be loved for the rest of his life. 

It is a huge risk to hold on to a relationship like this, there's too many uncertainties that might happen in the future. People change, feelings change, perspective of life changes over time and there is no guarantee that your life goals will ever sync up. But don’t fret just yet, if you are sure that he's your Mr. right and he's worth the wait; stay there for him, watch him grow and give him a hand when he falls.

I shall end this blog post quoting Sean Lau,

Meeting the right one at the right time ends in Bliss

Meeting the wrong one at the right time ends in Sadness

Meeting the wrong one at the wrong time ends in Mayhem

Meeting the right one at the wrong time ends in A Long Sigh.

Good Luck

JS