This is definitely not an easy
topic for me to talk about since it requires me to go through the negative emotions
again but I think sharing my experience here might help some of the people out there. Before I start, please take some time and view these comic strips. (Click to enlarge)
I stumbled upon this Facebook post and it gave me a huge impact. Depression is a very serious matter and
a lot of people overlook how lethal depression is. Self-hurt, self-hate and suicides all started from depression. The deadliest part of depression is how
it creeps silently into your life without you realizing it, destroying you as a
whole if you choose to hide or ignore it.
Depression can be caused by many
things like diseases, smoking, poor sleeping habits, bully, trauma, fear, loneliness,
bad relationship, dark secrets or even realising certain TV shows/Movies aren’t
real (Harry Potter/Avatar/X-Men/Pokémon). You might take that lightly but many tends to find an escape from real life problems by
indulging in the fantasy world of movie/series.
A little background of my story,
I’ve just went through a terrible break up July this year. It was a very hard
time for me unlike the other times because I felt very, very lonely on top of
other stresses. Depression hits me eventually, I was barely functional and was a pile of mess. I
felt crappy every single day, it was hard for me to sleep and getting food into
my system was the hardest thing to do; I was very demotivated all the
time and in fact I could barely do anything due to my physical and mental
conditions. The one thing I really wanted to do was to stay in my
room and lie on my bed alone, hiding myself from the world.
This is why depression is scary;
the emotional burden that you carry makes you want to hide away from everybody
else; which is the exact opposite of what you should really do. I’m no
psychology expert but I would really love to share my experience on how to
“feel better”.
1. Acknowledging that you are
depressed
Understanding and acknowledging
the fact that you are depressed is the first step to feel better. Stop being in
denial any more, if you feel stressed out, unhappy and sad most of the time
then you are probably dealing with depression or anxiety at least. A lot of
people tends to “make themselves busy” so they could forget about being
unhappy but that’s just putting the problems on hold instead of solving it. Trust
me, the moment you decide to sit down and admit that you ARE depressed, you
have already unloaded a huge load of burden.
2. Identifying the problem
There must be a cause for why you
are depressed; be it break ups, addiction, relationship problems, working
stress, etc. Only you yourself know the problem, you have to be your own
doctor. Diagnose yourself, find out why you are unhappy.
3. Reaching out
You are not alone, there are people that care for you out
there.
Go to your friends, or your
family, whichever that you are more comfortable with. If it’s a really
private matter that you want it to stay a secret, a professional therapist
or counsellor could help you. Cost issue? The internet is your best friend. Go
on YouTube, forums, blogs and reddits to seek help, there are plenty of people
out there that are willing to provide help and advices for free, you just have
to reach out for them.
4. Self-reflection
I agree that time heals; we
should always be patient and believe that things will get better eventually. However, time
alone is never enough, we also need to rearrange our hopes, dreams and
expectation so we can be happy. Friends, family, therapist or internet buddies
can only give you useful advices and comfort. The important part is how you change your mindset then clear the
root of your problem by stop being stubborn. Think positively,
open up yourself to more opportunities and ultimately, be happy.
Fighting Depression
The hardest part of battling
depression is to believe that you will be better. I felt lost, didn’t have a
purpose in life and just felt like crying all the time. I didn’t think any of
these will get better and I once thought “that’s it, that’s just how my life is going
to be”. Stop thinking that way and give yourself some credit. Life is too short
to be unhappy, open up your mind and be happy instead.
I myself went to the doctor actually. (A normal GP, not a therapist or a specialist) He could easily tell that I am suffering from depression judging from my conditions and thus prescribed me with some medication to help the situation. The medication does wonders, it stops the crazy thoughts I have at night and makes me feel normal so I can go through the day. The clear mind definitely helped me to get some good sleeps and some food into my stomach, allowing me to recover slowly.
My biggest regret was actually shutting people out from my life and wallow in the pool of sadness. If there's one thing that I could go back and tell my depressed self, it would be "Get Help!".
I consider myself to be very
lucky actually, an amazing guy came not too long after I've decided to say “goodbye”
to my depression. I will not be disclosing him in this blog for his privacy so
let’s just call him Nee. Nee is the best thing that happened to me lately, he
supported me through my hard times, giving me lots of love & attention. On top of all that goodies, he’s cute :)
I once thought that I can never
find love again since I thought Bii was “The One” but that is certainly untrue.
The love that Nee gives me is no less than what Bii gave me, more even. Nee is
one of the main reasons why I smile (and get upset) nowadays and I can’t
express how grateful I am that he’s still by my side despite the tantrums and
bullshits I throw at him. It has been a pleasant journey with
him so far, there were hard times, but getting over all those bumps only made
our bond stronger.
I’m getting side-tracked here. My
point is it does get better; you just have to believe that it will get better. I
would’ve missed the chance to be with Nee if I refuse to be loved again and
that is one thing that I would really hate to miss.
Just because your illness can’t be seen doesn’t make it any less
important
Own up to your feelings and deal with them bravely. If you
need any sort of help anonymously, I can be contacted through my Facebook
inbox, just search up my name in FB (Wee Jia Sheng) and drop me a message.
I would like to end my blog saying a huge thanks to my
boyfie, which has been giving me much love and care.
I love you Nee, thanks for making
me feel loved & happy everyday xoxo
-Jace #ItGetsBetter
